Roasting Halloween

Oct 6, 2018 | Blog, Food, Holiday, Lifestyle

The only thing roasting this Halloween season is lovely vegetables.  Usually in Phoenix we are still tipping over 100 degrees but the desert tricksters are giving an almost Fall season.  90 degrees for a few hours a day then dipping nicely into the 80s.  So it’s roast-a-rama time with garlic, onions, vegetables…oh the fragrance.  Caramelization thy will be done.

Does this make up for the extra sugar and caffeine?  No.  Sadly no.  Now through the last dregs of  New Year’s Pineapple Upside Down Cake, it’s a struggle of balance, sanity, glucose levels.   (Gain 20 pounds, color your hair funny, that’ll solve looking chubby and unhealthy.  Hey, wear those too-tight plaid pants while you’re at it.)

Any-who Boo, this is one beautiful roasting pan o’ color and the windows can be opened for coolish breezes.  Corners have been turned.

 

Starbucks August release of Pumpkin Spice Latte: No Fancy Cup

Aug 31, 2018 | Food, Holiday, Lifestyle

Starbucks released the pumpkin hounds on August 30, the earliest release yet of the fan obsessed Pumpkin Spice Latte beverage.  It was a twitter’lanche of joy for thousands (millions?) of people who begin a new year with the first sip of the seasonal favorite.  Many people wrote of how summer hot it was outside  but it would bring them closer to Autumn which was only three weeks away.  Hooray!  I’m happy for them!  My gripe, aside from the PSL not being a favorite holiday beverage (Peppermint Mocha, bring back Eggnog!) was the plain plain plain cup this icon of drinks was served.  A holiday beverage that is being passed down through the generations (this drink is serious culture) should be presented in a cup befitting its glory.

The graphic for the early promotion is quite beautiful, pumpkins representing, but drinking a representation of autumnal seasonal bliss in 90 degree weather, in a plain cup is like a toast at a wedding being done ’round back amongst the refuse with your champagne in a brown paper bag.  I’ll wait til the nights cool off to the 80s and the cups are festively adorned.  Then I can sip my fall favorite and read the twitter’lance about how shitty the holiday designs are and the conspiracy against a certain group of people.  Hey, let’s wager on who takes offense this year.

Enjoy Enjoy, my friends.  Enjoy the year begun anew with your Pumpkin Spice Lattes.  May your good cheer start an early wave of hap-happiness for the rest of us.

Dolce & Gabbana | Pasta Consolation for Chubby Poors

Dec 31, 2017 | ART, Fashion, Food, Lifestyle

Dolce & Gabbana : Pasta Consolation for Chubby Poors

I adore Dolce & Gabbana.  Vivid, happy colors, exuberant patterns of flowers, religious iconography, it’s traditional and exotic, classic and trendy, always beautiful.  Crowns, they have fancy crowns even the most incestually conceived royal  could proudly sport in his luxury attic.

Had I the money for these fabulous frocks I still couldn’t wear any of them because they don’t make my size. I’m not large, I’m just not tiny.  Really tiny.

But the boys threw us chubby poors a bone.  A pasta bone, at the low low price of 110 dollars.  “Here chubby poors, enjoy a literal taste of the good life.”  
And it is good. Working with Pastficio de Martino on a limited edition run of 5000 with 1000 being made available to the state, we can sup on greatness.  The colorful tin is packed with five kinds of specialty shaped pasta, an apron, and a cheapish shopping tote that I wouldn’t trust to hold a single napkin.  

Aside from the tote it is  thoughtfully packaged from the stickers holding the Italian tile design paper to  the finely printed insert detailing the new treasures.  D&G has been pairing with Smeg appliances as well.  They want to make the everyday life beautiful, special.  Agree!  It does come at a cost though and with luck this trend  will be picked up by more conservatively priced companies.  Even poors like beauty.

So a splurge was had and I  finally attained a literal taste of Dolce & Gabbana.  It is worth every penny.

“la famiglia, la pasta, l’Italia,”  Mama Gabbana

The Apron

From the pasta website:
“Dolce&Gabbana has designed and signed a special apron that recalls the colours and all the main symbols identifying our Country. It is not only a kitchen accessory but a real dress celebrating the “Made in Italy”.

It is by no means a real dress unless you are going to a fetish food party.  It is vividly colored and sturdy but should it actually be worn for an apron’s intended purpose?  How would you wear it to show off?  It’s not a Rolex or Tiffany jewelry you can don for that elitist trendy soiree.  Well, maybe if you are an old school Kennedy family member.

The Pasta

Five bags of pasta.  
 2 packs of Spaghetti
2 packs of Penne Mezzani Rigate
 1 pack of Paccheri

Coming from one of the finest pasta makers in the world, I’ll have to eat a few of these.  They are shapes I’ve never seen in my Spaghetti-Os before and I have much curiosity.  I do  have a  Le Crusset pot for the cooking.  Sure, it’s old and banged up but so is Donatella Versace and she is still pulling off the hoi polloi.

Dolce & Gabbana on TWITTER and FACEBOOK

Spot the food trend in their design for Spring/Summer 2018

Dolce and Gabbana partnered with Smeg appliance to make  refrigerators. These are tiny li’l fridges but if you are in the D&G world, you don’t eat very much.
Several styles of refrigerators are now available from Neiman Marcus for 50 thousand dollars. 450 dollars for delivery.  Do check out this website for the other models.
Refrigerators at Neiman Marcus

Smeg  has their own lines of wares that are fabulous.
Premium design.
Smeg. Technology with Style. 

Bad Cakes reveal secret Santas.

Dec 8, 2017 | Food, Holiday

Santa Sees You

Santa Sees You and he like. He like you a lot.

Santa through the Wormhole

Intergalactic Sleigh Revealed in Cake

Santa Face. THAT FACE.

Drinkin’ Santa. Mean Santa

Very Bad Cakes

Very Very Bad Cakes

Mmmmmm, cake. It doesn’t have to be a work of art to be delicious, but it should at least not set off an instinctual clenched jaw from which no scream can escape.
Dare to see more? CAKE WRECKS is the place.